Tuesday, June 13, 2006

My Baby Love

Just a little post today on some baby love.

Yesterday, when my babysitter arrived, she brought up a box with that had been delivered to me earlier that morning. Thrilled to see it was my new sling, I couldn't wait to try it out with my beautiful babe. During the time that Kim had my darling daughter and the day grew from cloudy to sunny and absolute gorgeous, I counted off the hours until I could step out with my baby.

Finally five o:clock arrived and when Kim came in, promptly at five, I was thrilled to have my daughter back. I slid on my sling with it's blushing pink pattern and headed towards the park on Tenth Avenue. I hung out in the park with Eliza, noticing a good deal of the other park "patrons" were male. Perhaps they were men, recently home from work, relieving their wives of their day jobs. I walked around the park, Eliza against me and enjoyed looking at everyone. Eliza fell asleep and when I came home, I lay down on the bed, her still in the sling, and read a book. Reading is one of the "activities" I really miss and to do it with her next to me, happily asleep, was such a wonderful thing.

When she woke up and I removed her from the sling, I undressed her before I fed her. She was wearing a light colored outfits and I didn't want it stained with the bright orange butternut squash I planned to feed her.

After she had eaten and it was time for her to get in the bath and ready for bed, I remembered I wanted to purchase a New York Sun newspaper from one of those boxes on Tenth Avenue. Not wanting to dress Eliza, I slid her into the sling in nothing but her diaper.

Walking the long block from Ninth to Tenth Avenue, Eliza looked like naked baby and everyone seemed to enjoy looking at her. She bounced against my body, a no no according the sling manufacturer and I was grateful my hands were free in case she ejected herself from my body. As I walked passed an older couple in front of one of the buildings, the man said, "Now that is what I call a great outfit."

"Best accessory I ever had!" I shouted back to him. Eliza grinned and bounced against me, seeming happy to enjoy the evening walk. I sang to her as the sun set, a silly little song C had made up about the sun. Eliza looked at me, her face splitting into a smile so happy, I felt there was no greater joy that what she was experiencing at the moment. I continued to sing and she continued to bounce and smile happily.

Suddenly I felt the full power of making a human being that happy with nothing, just a silly song and it was the greatest power I've ever felt. In the lobby, under the admiring gaze of my neighbors and doormen, I could only savor the beauty of something as simple as stepping out to get a newspaper. The notion that your presence, coupled with some rather bad singing, could make some one else giddy with happiness was completely alient to me. And now here it was, right in front of me, making me happy, making me feel whole.

Baby love, it's this thing bigger than me and too much for me to describe. Tonight I went out and didn't get to tuck Eliza in before bedtime. As I walked home, I'd hoped she still be awake, so I could walk her on the city streets on a beautiful night, singing about Mr. Golden Sun and reveling in how much exileration a simple song could bring.

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